He Gives Good Gifts

This summer Ann Voskamp has been schooling me in the discipline of thanksgiving.  In her blog A Holy Experience, her book One Thousand Gifts, and her iPhone (or Android) app One Thousand Gifts she teaches me to write down, realize, and remember how blessed I am and how Jesus is endlessly showering me with gifts.  Ann asked me to join her in a joy dare, a dare to chronicle 1,000 gifts.  In doing so, in writing down these gifts in my journal, in snapping photos of these gifts and posting them on her app my eyes are being opened to the gifts Jesus is giving me in every single moment.  On June 28 I started writing every night in my journal five things I'm thankful for.  I'll share a few...or a lot:

Japanese dumplings with teriyaki sauce
Playing chess on the iPad with my dad
New TLC show Big Brooklyn Style
Dew on my feet
Smell of homemade baking gingersnaps
Saturday market
Oatmeal from Starbucks
Rainstorm
Apples
Backyard games with my small group
Double rainbow

Blessed assurance that Jesus wants me to go to Whitworth University and not Wheaton College
Nehemiah Bible Study with lovely ladies
Noise from my fan that lulls me to sleep
Green skinny jeans on sale from Nordstrom
POWELL'S BOOKSTORE

Books from Powell's I hope to get next time

Books from Powell's I got this time

Cashew nut tofu
Hot sand completely covering my feet
Building a teepee with Dallas and Jack

The most comfortable bed in the world at the most comfortable house in the world

Cheeks baking in the warmth of a bonfire
Self tanner lotion (you better believe it)
Grandpa and Grandma time

Taking these pictures and writing these things down makes me realize, rejoice, and remember.  Taking these pictures and writing these things down makes me thank Him.  He gives good gifts. He gives good, good gifts.  


"Thank God! He deserves your thanks. His love never quits. 
Thank the God of all gods, 
His love never quits. 
Thank the Lord of all lords. His love never quits." 
Psalm 136: 1-3 The Message

He is Miraculous

I want to be radical, different, life-changing.  I want people to love Jesus more and live Jesus more because He worked in them through me.  I want to be a beacon.  I want to be a light leading to Light.  I want to love Him more, obey Him quicker, believe Him more, know Him more, live Him more.  I want to have faith and love and gifts like Beth Moore, Christine Caine, and Ann Voskamp.

But do I believe Jesus can work in me these things He has worked in those women?  Do I believe He can change me, refine me, work miracles in me like He has in those women?  Do I believe He can develop leadership skills and vulnerability in me like He has in those women? Do I believe He can do much of anything?

I don't.

I feel beyond- reach, too bogged down by what I know will really happen when I ask Him to work a miracle in me.  Because I know what will really happen.  I will ask but won't receive.  And even if I  receive I won't recognize the Giver.  I just don't believe like those women.  But I want to.  So I pray. I pray He will prove me wrong.  I pray He will abolish my thoughts of unbelief and my thoughts of, "He couldn't possibly do that in me".  I pray He will thrust down my unbelief and raise up belief. And even in my unbelief He does miracles in me.  He blesses me, grows me, teaches me to see the countless gifts He gives me everyday.  He chastises me, woos me, calms me.  He pierces my heart, makes it soar, makes it sing, makes it quietly beam.  In all this, through all this, with all this He grows belief in me.

Jesus, grow miraculous amounts of belief in me.

"Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24